Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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