I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The air was thick with penises
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
