normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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