i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
