You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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