She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
