What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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