when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
