Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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