Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
