I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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