She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
