so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
