I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
