He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
