I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
