Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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