I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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