The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
