so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
