I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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