Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
