If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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