she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
