I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Who died my cat blue again?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
