My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
