shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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