Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
