Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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