just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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