Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize