the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize