Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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