She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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