He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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