If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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