cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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