Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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