My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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