You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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