I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I love having hate sex.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
