your parents love me but you hate me
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
