I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
