So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
