Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
