so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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