Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
