And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
