Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
