I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
