The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
And then my night got REAL pukey
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
