I look better un-naked...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
