I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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