I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
