She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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