You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
