i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
