What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
