Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
