This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Watching her eat just hurts me
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
