Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
