I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think your dad took our porno
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
