Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
we're so committed to being not committed
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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