a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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