Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize