Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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